


Ikea is the Tenth Circle of Hell

by darkavengerz (darkavenger)



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Spideypool - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-10
Updated: 2013-11-10
Packaged: 2018-01-01 03:14:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1039677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkavenger/pseuds/darkavengerz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Peter and Wade go shopping for stuff for their apartment. All Peter wants is a bed so he doesn't have to sleep on the floor any more, and all Wade wants is to get in Peter's pants, on the floor or in a bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ikea is the Tenth Circle of Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Written for this prompt on tumblr:
> 
> 'Wade and Peter are moving in together for the first time and are looking for home stuff like pots pans plates etc. and all Wade wants is to get into Peters pants X3'

"D’you think we need a thirty-six piece dinner set?" Peter asks, looking helplessly at the crockery. He’d thought it would be less painful picking out things with Wade than it had been the time he and MJ’d done this. He loved MJ (though not like that anymore) but she’d spent twenty minutes deliberating over which tea-towels to buy and had wanted things to be colour-coordinated. Wade also wanted things colour-coordinated but was satisfied with red and black as a colour scheme for every room."I mean, it’s not like I’m planning on throwing dinner parties, but…"

"Ah, buy it. Means less washing-up," Wade was clearly bored. On second thoughts (well, first thoughts really, but he’d been trying to be more optimistic recently) it had been a bad idea to bring someone with Wade’s attention span into a shop filled with fragile things. It was like bringing the proverbial bull to the china shop with you. To be fair to Wade, he’d been fairly good up until now even though he’d clearly been bored since about five minutes after they entered the shop.

"Don’t you mean more washing-up?" Peter questioned, but he picked up the thirty-six piece set.

"In the long run, but you get to put it off more!" Wade fidgeted, "So are we done?"

He sounded pretty desperate. Peter felt pretty desperate too. Even on his best behaviour, shopping with Wade was a trial. The only thing he’d seemed to really enjoy picking out so far had been the knife-set for the kitchen, and then he’d been a little scarily enthusiastic, which had resulted in them buying a set way more expensive and high quality than their proficiency in cooking warranted.

For a moment, Peter was tempted to throw in the towel (not that they had any yet, they hadn’t got round to bathroom supplies), until he thought about going back to the bare apartment and spending another night sleeping on carpet. “We need to at least pick out a bed.”

Wade perked up at that, and for a foolish moment Peter wondered why. “Do we get to test drive them?”

Even under the mask (which Wade insisted on wearing on public even if he would now forgo it at home) Peter could tell he was leering. He blushed lightly and nudged his shoulder against his boyfriend. “Not if we don’t want to get kicked out of the store.”

Wade snickered and grabbed a handful of Peter’s arse and squeezed, “Oh trust me, once they see you naked, they’re not gonna want to let you out of here.”

"Wade," Peter said patiently, "we’ve talked about this. No sex in public."  
He said that a little too loudly, and the woman picking out silverware down the aisle looks up. He blushed and began to stammer an apology but she just gave them both the once over and a lascivious grin, which Wade caught.

"See," he crowed, triumphant, "everyone will be happy!"

"No," Peter groaned, dragging Wade away from the woman who was clearly a bad influence.

"Okay, fine, Peter Prude. Let’s just go home and get it on!"

"Buy a bed first," Peter said firmly. Carpet wasn’t just bad for sleeping on, and while Wade might have a healing factor that meant he didn’t have to worry about carpet burn, Peter's didn't work quite as fast.

"Then sex?"

"Then sex," Peter promised.

"Yay sex!"


End file.
